please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Randomize
