Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
