To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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