she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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