he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
