So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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