I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
i think my cat just said my name.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
