Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
