she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Acid is not a monday night drug
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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