He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
