She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
