I want to make a zoo with you.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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