Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I need to calm my uterus...
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
