You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
