Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
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