At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
