He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
