Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
