i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
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