I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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