He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Randomize
