after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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