he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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