What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
