They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
