just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Randomize
