there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
