You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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