I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
