I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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