The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize