I got chris browned last night
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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