I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize