Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize
