So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize