i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
