Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Randomize
