I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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