I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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