i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
