So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize