She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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