I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
