Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
