you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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