I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
