is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
