Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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