youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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