I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
