Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
