you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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