He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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