Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
It's blow job season.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize