Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
