fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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