i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
