So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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