hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
