He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Randomize