Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize
