It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
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