A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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