Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
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